


Dear Emma

by Jossasund



Series: My collection of swanqueen one-shots [13]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:45:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: Emma finds a note by the door after her wedding that will change her life forever.





	Dear Emma

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be a sad one so grab your tissues!

_ Dear Emma,  _

 

_ I can't describe how much I love you, and I will always love you. In this life and the next.  _

 

_ You believed in my when everyone else was stuck on me being the Evil Queen. And I know I have done terrible, unspeakable things, but you are one of the few people that knows why I did what I did.  _

 

_ You know how it is to grow up broken, how it feels to not belong and how it is to feel alone in a room filled with people.  _

 

_ Besides my daddy, you are the only one who has always seen the good in me. You have never let the darkness inside of me scare you off. You just took my hand one day and never let me go.  _

 

_ The first time you promised me you would never leave me, I didn't believe you. And it took a long time before I had the courage to let you see behind my walls.  _

 

_ You are the only person who has seen me vulnerable, but I always felt so protected and safe with your arms around me. _

 

_ You and Henry are always going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I saw a future with you both. Sadly, I let it slip through my fingers..  _

 

_ I'm sorry.  _

 

_ I don't remember when I first realized I was in love with you, but I wasn't scared for a second because I saw you felt the same when I looked into those green eyes of yours. But maybe I saw what I wanted to see?  _

 

_ And then he came into the picture. The man who stole you from me.. The man who made you let go of my hand and I felt so lost without you. However I didn't have anyone else but myself to blame.  _

 

_ I should have just told you what I was feeling. But I never did. I never did.  _

 

_ I tried though, believe me, but before I had found the strength to do so, you were already gone. I broke down but I couldn't say anything. Or do anything.  _

 

_ Why not, you may wonder? Well. Because he made you happy. So I hope he gives you everything you deserve, because, Miss Swan, you deserve the world.  _

 

_ I just wish I could kiss you again.  _

 

_ Emma Swan, you will always hold my heart and I hope that Hook will be able to treat you like the queen you actually are.  _

 

_ While you will be reading this, I have long since taken my last breath and I'm sorry it had to end like this, but it just had to.  _

 

_ I couldn't live seeing you with him. It was too painful so I chose to leave this world instead. Just forget me Emma. Enjoy your happy ending. And take care of Henry.  _

 

_ I'm always going to cherish our memories and I hope those will play on repeat when I say goodbye to this world.  _

 

_ Because Emma, you were the one. The one and only for me. You made me feel for the first time in so many horrible years and I will always be thankful for that.  _

 

_ You taught me to live. To laugh.  _

 

_ I will always remember the way we used to laugh and how clumsy you always were in the kitchen. I will miss your smile and your blonde curls. And I'm gonna miss Henry and his little story book.  _

 

_ I hope you don't blame yourself for this. I chose this myself. So please don't blame yourself.  _

 

_ Live now Emma. Live your life.  _

 

_ Yours and forever,  _

 

_ Regina Mills  _

 

*******

 

Emma had found this note by her door as she came home from her wedding. She had read it and quickly called her father about it, and he had rushed over to Regina's house. Sadly, it had been too late. She was already dead and when he called Emma to say that, it was like someone pulled her heart out of her chest and she couldn't breath. 

 

Hook tried his best to cheer up his wife but nothing worked. She just got angry with him so he decided to leave her alone with Henry. 

 

“Did you know this?“ Emma asked her son with a raspy voice. “Did you know Regina was in love with me?“

“No.. We never talked about stuff like that..“ Henry replied with a sigh and dried his eyes. 

“I should've known. I should have asked her. And now? Now it's too late… she's gone. Gone forever.. “

 

*******

 

Emma wasn't able to sleep that night. She was downstairs, pacing back and forth in the living room, reading Regina's letter over and over again. It almost felt like she heard her read it to her while the letter was in her head and it made her weep. 

 

She was gone. Forever lost and Emma would never see her again. She would never see Regina’s smile again, hear her laugh and smell that wonderful scent of apple and cinnamon. Suddenly Emma froze on the spot as she started to go through her own thoughts carefully. 

 

_ Did I have feelings for Regina I never admitted?  _

 

Emma's head started to spin and she went outside for some air. She sat down and lit a cigarette as she shook her head at herself. Regina, the woman with whom she had been through hell and back, whom had made her feel so much she had never felt before, had ended her life.

 

Because of  _ her _ . 

 

Emma dried her eyes and looked up at the sky. She had made many mistakes in her life but this was by far the worst and she couldn't do a thing about it. She had to live with this for the rest of her life. 

 

She didn't know what had been so special about Hook, because it had always been Regina she had seen herself spending her future with. But then Hook came into the mix and Emma had started to hang out with him and she had smiled when she she saw how much Henry adored him. And he needed a father figure in his life. 

 

She had had less time for Regina when Emma had began dating hook. Their usual dinners and movie nights become more and more unusual and even if Regina never said anything about it, Emma had a terrible feeling in her stomach. A feeling that told her she had forsaken Regina. And if she had listened to that feeling, maybe the queen might still been alive. 

 

As Emma look down on the note again, she pressed a kiss onto the paper and let her fingers gently brush against it. 

“Forgive me Regina…”

 

**The end.**

  
  
  



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